London, 23rd August 2010: TV channel Dave, the home of witty banter, has announced the winner of the third annual Dave Award for the Funniest Joke of the Fringe.
In its quest to find the outstanding one-liners, and the most disastrous put-downs the judges sat through an average of 60 different comedy performances and sifted through more than 3,600 minutes of material. This meant they each had a potential pool of around 7,200 different jokes to choose from.
With nearly 40% of the overall votes, comedian Tim Vine, takes the top spot and walks away with the hand-crafted Dave trophy and a cash prize for his witty one-liner: ‘I’ve just been on a once in a lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what. Never again’.
The winning joke, taken from Vine’s current sell-out show, ‘The Joke-Amotive’ at the Pleasance Courtyard, marks a triumphant return to this year’s Edinburgh Fringe for the stand-up and TV star. Vine has proved to be a firm favourite with both the panel of judges and the public with his witty one-liners and original show.
Steve North, Channel head of Dave says: “This year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe features some 34,265 performances of 2,098 shows in 265 venues with comedy making up 35% of the programme. With the Dave Joke of the Fringe we’ve boiled it down to the best 24 jokes on offer and let the public crown Tim Vine as the winner.”
Of his win, Vine said: “I am very happy to win this award and I’m going to celebrate by going to Sooty’s barbecue and having a sweepsteak”.
The Top 10 funniest jokes from the Fringe Festival
Tim Vine – “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”
David Gibson as Ray Green – “I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.”
Emo Philips – “I picked up a hitch hiker. You gotta when you hit them.”
Jack Whitehall – “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say “bought” – I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.”
Gary Delaney – “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”
John Bishop – “Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.”
Bo Burnham – “What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.”
Gary Delaney – “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.”
Robert White – “For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: empty.”
Gareth Richards – “Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food, or if you can’t be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…”
Some of the biggest groaners include:
Sara Pascoe – “Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.”
Sean Hughes – “You know city-centre beat officers… Well are they police who rap?”
Gyles Brandreth – “I’ve got nothing against lesbians. I mean, that’s the point isn’t it?”
Doc Brown – “I was born into the music industry. My dad worked in Our Price.”
John Luke Roberts – “I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge.”
Sarah Millican – “I bought a cross-trainer to keep fit. I suppose that it’s not enough to just buy it.”
Bec Hill – “Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn’t have the energy to climb up the stairs.”
Dan Antopolski – “How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.”
Andi Osho – “Floella Benjamin is in the House of Lords. How did she get in, through the round window?”
Gareth Richards – “My mother is always taking photographs of me; she said if you disappear tomorrow I want you to look good on the news.”
Emo Phillips – “I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it’s hard to find 32 of them.”
The Edinburgh Festival Fringe is widely acknowledged to be the biggest arts festival in the world and takes place every August for three weeks in Scotland’s capital city. Starting in 1947, it was seen as a post-war initiative to re-unite Europe through culture, and was so successful that it inspired more performers than there was room for.
Satirical and edgy, Dave is an irreverent channel that showcases the best in contemporary entertainment and is the home of witty banter. Beside the very best quizcoms and cult comedies – including the UK’s highest rating commission, Red Dwarf: Back to Earth (watched by 2.66m) – Dave also broadcasts UKTV’s sports offering with World Rally Championships and Red Bull X-Fighters. Dave is available on Freeview (channel 19), Sky (111) and Virgin (128).