Comedy Store Boss Names His 10 Best Heckles.

This week the world famous Comedy Store celebrates its 30th birthday

Co founder Don Ward picks his all-time favourite heckles;

1. Eric Douglas
Eric Douglas, Kirk Douglas’s son, was a bit upset at the audience reaction to his routine and shouted back: “You can’t do this to me – I’m Kirk Douglas’s son!” Some wag in the audience stood up and shouted out: “No, I’m Kirk Douglas’s son,” swiftly followed by the rest of the audience.

2. David Baddiel
“Everybody hates you – surely you remember that from school?”

3. Jo Brand
“Don’t show us your tits.”

4. Frank Skinner
(From a blind man): “Get off, you bastard!” and then, “Has he gone yet?”

5. Alan Davies
During a charity gig, where Davies was fiddling with the material of the curtain at the back of the stage, doing no stand up at all – the audience were getting restless and one shouted: “Tell us a joke Alan.” He shook his head and as he still had the curtain in his hand someone else shouted: “Wrong material Alan.” He then proceeded to storm off the stage and has never been back since.

6. Jim Tavare
To the Sketch Show star: “I’m a schizophrenic.” Heckler: “Why don’t you both fuck off?”

7. Dylan Moran
During a gig in Glasgow (having told the audience he has just come back from Italy), someone shouting: “Dylan, you’re not in Italy now, why are you drinking wine? Have a Scottish drink,” Dylan replied “What? Like a pint of Temazepam?”

8. Paul Merton
Merton once responded to a heckler with the line: “Excuse me, I’m trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you’re giving blowjobs to transsexuals?” Many variations have been used since.

9. Eddie Izzard
Izzard responded to an outburst with an encouraging, “Check your joke with your friend first and if he thinks it’s funny, then give it a try.” Another memorable time he responded to a heckler by telling him to shut up, and then saying: “I know people have already heckled tonight, but I WILL kill you.”

10. Bill Hicks
Audience member to Hicks, never known for his patience with hecklers: “I don’t come here to think.” Hicks replied: “Well, tell me where you do go and I’ll meet you there.”

 See www.thecomedystore.co.uk for listings.

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